The Countdown Begins

T - minus 12.  And so it begins.

On Wednesday, September 5th, I will be admitted to the hospital to begin my stem cell transplant conditioning therapy.  I will be having sixteen doses of intravenous Busulfan, spread over 4 days, and two days of Cytoxan.  I'm going to have a Picc line inserted into my arm on Wednesday and will start my first dose of Busulfan that night.  The transplant will take place either on September 13th, or 14th, just depending on when the cells get there.  My coordinator told us that it is a very anti-climatic event, as it is a very small bag of cells that is given like a blood transfusion.  I've had all of my pre-transplant testing, have a "perfect" match unrelated donor, and have signed all of the scary consent forms.  This is happening. 

I feel...not ready, but kinda like I should have done this years ago.  The hardest part for me will be being away from my home for two full months.  I've been told to expect to spend a month in the hospital, and then a month in temporary housing adjacent to UCLA.  For some people being in the heart of LA would be exciting.  For me, it's hell.  I'm a true mountain girl through and through, and the fact that I'm going to be missing the majority of the Fall season in the mountains makes my little heart sad. 

Fall 2017

I will suffer through, mostly because I don't really have much of a choice.  I'd much rather be home hiking our little section of the Pacific Crest Trail, watching the leaves turn, and the sage bloom, splitting and stacking firewood, and waiting for the first snow...but for this year, for this season, I will endure so that I can enjoy all of those things for many Falls to come. 

But goddamn, it's going to be hard to be away from my home and these little faces for so very long.

Paco & Beeker

Miss

Trying to get my fill of everything.  Cat love and snuggles.  Chocolate cake.  Jacuzzi's under the stars.  Watching the sun rise through my bedroom windows in the mornings.  Hiking in the evenings.  Kisses and holding hands.  Having hair...

I just keep telling myself that it's only a temporary absence.  It's the only way I'll make it through.