Six Months Living With CML

I never used to have high blood pressure.  It's always been good - right smack dab on the money - 120 over 60 - nine times out of ten, but ever since this whole cancer fiasco, I've noticed that its been creeping up at office visits.  I mean, can you blame me?  The results that I'm there for are only a life and death matter.  This time 130 over 80.  I try to act nonchalant about the whole thing on the outside, but my insides are clenched up like a stress ball - which, while bad for my blood pressure, is probably good for my abs.

So it's just about a week shy my six month mark.  I've been living with the knowledge that I have cancer for just about six months now.  Considering that, this appointment was a big one for me. (Every appointment is a big one for me, though.) I've been doing a lot of speculating.  There have been a lot of "Choose Your Own Adventure" scenario's playing out in my head.  What if my blood counts are too high?  (Will they change my medication?  Will I have to go back in the hospital?)  Then again, what if my blood counts are too low?  (Will I have to stop medication for awhile?  Will I have to go back in the hospital?  Will I have to be off work?)  What if my BCR-ABL test comes back higher than the last time?  (Will I....) Those are only a handful of the things that I think about, every time I'm due to see my oncologist again.  

It turns out, that, this time at least, my speculating was all for naught.  My white blood cell count is at 4500, which is within range.  And my BCR-ABL (the mutant gene/protein that causes cancer cells to grow) which was at 21 percent at my last visit (on July 22nd, 2014) is measured at 14 percent this time around.  So I am moving in the right direction, and going down!

In other news, the only result that I got that I was not happy with was proof that my weight is creeping up.  I've gained 17 pounds since I was diagnosed.  I think that it's pretty sad that in my lifetime, the only time that I thought that my metabolism was working as it should was when I had out of control cancer.  Most of the other Gleevec side-effects that I have been experiencing are decreasing both in frequency and intensity, except for the fatigue.  I still do get sick, and do have an occasional bout with bone pain, or sun sensitivity, but not as often as before.  All in all it seems like my body may be adjusting, and coping better.  I'm guessing that the gained weight, though, is not going to be miraculously going away on it's own, so readjusting to my new metabolism is something that I'm going to have to work on.  

In line with that, I asked my oncologist yesterday, if, in his experience, changing my diet could help with my cancer.  Ever since I was diagnosed I've been getting tons of diet advice from friends and family.  Eat more eggplant!  Change to clean eating!  Cut out meat and dairy!  Eat organic!  So I asked him if there IS anything that I CAN do that will make a difference in regards to my cancer.  He smirked, shook his head, and said "Your cancer is caused by a gene mutation.  Changing your diet is not going to have any effect on that.  Your medication is.  Keep taking your medication."  Clean eating may not be a bad idea to help with my most persistent side effect, though.  And I do like eggplant...

Six weeks until my next round of blood tests.  Here's to hoping that, with regards to cancer, they're uneventful.

On Vacation with CML

So I really did try to avoid it, but I ended up keeping my doctors appointment with my PP that Friday, and going in to get checked out.  I've always been the type of person to avoid going to the doctors.  When I was little, I hated it so much that my mom would have to bribe me, to get me to go to any sort of doctor's or dentist's appointment.  Sometimes she got off with a milkshake after my appointment, and sometimes she had to shell out as much as 5 bucks.  Not that I was at all well behaved once I got there.  I had a dentist that told me to raise my hand if it hurt, and he would stop.  I raised my hand.  He didn't stop.  I compelled him, by pushing his hand away.  My mom was asked not to bring me back.

Another time, they were attempting to take blood for some sort of routine blood test, and I decided that they were not going to poke me with a needle.  It took two nurses and my mom to hold me down, and even then, I struggled and fought like a fish on a hook.  I remember hiding behind the examination table, watching blood drip down my finger (they'd poked me, and I hadn't felt it, I had been fighting too hard.)  So, suffice to say, I have a little bit of an aversion towards going to the doctor.  It's ironic, now, that I have to go every month.

When I went in, my cold sore had cleared up, but I'd had a nasty cold for 6 days that just seemed to keep getting worse.  He listened to my lungs and told me that I most likely wouldn't require antibiotics, but did end up giving me a z-pack since I was going on vacation "just in case".  I toughed it out for 4 more days, but with a chest cough that seemed to be getting deeper and more seated, I started taking antibiotics on the first day of my vacation, and by day 3 felt almost completely better.  I just couldn't be that awful person with the hacking cough on the airplane.

Kauai was beautiful, but hot.  I am a pale translucent sort by nature, so the sun and the heat has always been a little hard on me.  I think that I'm more well suited for the drizzly gray of the English Countryside than the white sand beaches of paradise.  It seemed to be especially hard on me this go around, though.  Every time I was in the sun for any prolonged period, my skin got red and splotchy.  I had sunscreen on, but every night, we would get back to the condo, and it looked like I had gotten burned.  Usually when I woke up in the morning, the splotchiness was gone, and the redness had faded.  I'm thinking that this is another Gleevec side effect that I had not yet had the pleasure of experiencing.  Definitely noted.  Next time, a higher SPF sunscreen, and more light layers.

Also, in non cancer related news...Keith and I got engaged.  After chasing a beautiful sunset through a Hawaiian rain forest, he got down on one knee and asked me if I would marry him.  How could my answer be anything but yes?  Actually, I think I cried and nodded.  When I was in the hospital, he told me that he hated being referred to as my boyfriend, that he should be my husband.  And now he will be.  Feeling so blessed to have so many people that love me as I am, even with all of my flaws; and incurable cancer is a big one.

Test for my BCR-ABL coming up.  I see the doctor on Sept. 26th.  My levels need to go down significantly.  Fingers still crossed on that one.