May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor

No one knows this.  It's something that I've kept to myself thus far.  Way back, when the nurse first called me back in for more blood tests, and Lacey thought I might have leukemia, I sat in my bathtub and cried my eyes out, thinking about that Mandy Moore movie, "A Walk to Remember".  (It didn't help that, at that time, Lacey had the song from the movie as one of her ring tones on her phone.)  It's based on a Nicholas Sparks book, and Mandy Moore who is in her teens, dies of leukemia.  So even when I was telling myself that only old people and young children get leukemia, deep down I was terrified.

Firstly, I hate to admit to watching anything based on a Nicholas Sparks book...and second, and more importantly, I hate acknowledging my weakness.  If there is one thing that I've learned since I caught "the cancer", it's that you absolutely HAVE to stay positive.  BELIEVING that you are going to be okay, is absolutely your best and most lethal weapon.  (Maybe, your only weapon.)  It's really difficult, though, because cancer doesn't fight fair, and just when you think you've got it pinned, it flips you on your back.

So, I've been on gleevec since April 04, 2014.  I gained a complete hematologic response, and was working my way slowly, but surely, towards achieving a major molecular response, but something inside me (lets call it cancer) decided not to cooperate, and my BCR-ABL level spiked from 6.8% at the end of October, to 46% when measured on January 29, 2015.  My self checks failed me this time.  Maybe it's because my blood counts - with regards to my white blood cells, and my hemoglobin levels - are normal.  (Huh? How does that work?)  So...I have a normal number of white blood cells, but almost half of them are cancerous?  Talk about not fighting fair.

Not sure if the failure is due to building up a resistance to gleevec, or some sort of cancer cell mutation, but the new plan of attack is a second generation TKI called Sprycel.  I'm still waiting for my pharmacy and my insurance company to duke it out, so that I can get started on my new regimen.  According to my avid web browsing research of the last 72 hours, as many as 30% to 40% of people do not achieve an "optimal response" on gleevec, and are switched to one of the second generation TKI's.  In general, people tend to respond more favorably, with fewer side effects, and with a faster and deeper responses on Sprycel and Tasigna.  So here's to hoping that my non-conformist little body, will tow the line this time.

Oh, wait, make that big body.  Aside from the devastating news that my cancer is making an unsolicited comeback, I also literally tipped the scales last time, weighing in with a total weight gain of 23 pounds.  So, somehow, I got the kind of cancer that makes you fat.  I didn't even know there was such a thing.  I'm just that lucky.

Sprycel, I eagerly await your arrival.  Let's you and I team up and kick some cancer ass!